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It's been along time since I had talk with a friend from my past thetigress.deviantart.com/ (Yeah I forgot how to make the icon appear, sorry), and another one I got to run into at the Costco yesterday. Being able to talk to both Tigress and my other friend felt really good and I really believe they were just the people to run into. I say this because truth is I have not wanted to see anyone from my past because I didn't want to explain why my life ...well ...has taken a long time to start. Even if I omitted explaining many years of ...not so good stuff. It's still not easy to explain why, at almost 30, I'm now finally starting to live for myself. That's why I appreciate the people I did run into, bad things weren't important to think about only the fact we were talking to each other and we were enjoying it. So yay on that 
Friends aside, I have also been thinking of the subject of self-integrity. As an artist I want to hold on to my values so much when it comes to certain areas but be flexible when it comes to others, but the question I ask is am I willing to compromise my integrity in order to make things I don't believe in for money? I hold artists like Bill Watterson in high esteem because he never sold out to make an extra gazillion dollars on Calvin and Hobbes merchandise. True he still makes so much off the books so it's not really necessary, but still he didn't sell out. This definitely proves money is not more important than holding true to your beliefs, but oh god it's hard to argue when you're broke
To be true to oneself or sell out for profit? That is the question.
Friends aside, I have also been thinking of the subject of self-integrity. As an artist I want to hold on to my values so much when it comes to certain areas but be flexible when it comes to others, but the question I ask is am I willing to compromise my integrity in order to make things I don't believe in for money? I hold artists like Bill Watterson in high esteem because he never sold out to make an extra gazillion dollars on Calvin and Hobbes merchandise. True he still makes so much off the books so it's not really necessary, but still he didn't sell out. This definitely proves money is not more important than holding true to your beliefs, but oh god it's hard to argue when you're broke
To be true to oneself or sell out for profit? That is the question.
Happy Halloween Ya'll
Here's a little love to everyone celebrating tonight 😄
Update and my shame
Okay for the last couple of months I've been suffering serious health problems. For almost 15 years I've had problems with my neck. It was speculated to be a seizure type disorder because my neck causes me such intense pain I'd collapse in a seizure-like manner. After a few years of suffering from the same problem and failing multiple epilepsy tests, I deduced it was a muscle or spine problem. Finally, after a fuck ton of asshole doctors and people who didn't want to believe me, a couple of months ago this year I found out I was fucking right! I have 2 compressed vertebrae in my cervical part of my spine that has been strangling my nerves cau
Welcome 2017
Happy New Year people! :) 2016 sucked and I'm a little iffy about things coming in the new year but I'm still going to live life to the best I can. And one the things I really want to do is start off by doing multiple drawing challenges.
Originally this was inspired by DA's own Piccolo-kun (If you haven't looked up his gallery, you're missing out!) In 2015 he did a challenge in which he drew everyday for a year. The dedication behind it blew my mind and his artwork was a joy to look at on the Hot Page everyday. I knew I wanted to try and do the challenge but I was still finding my courage... and discipline to make the decision to draw everyd
Devious Journal Entry
Okay I haven't been completely idle for the last few months. I have been working on work, coloring pictures, writing and creating exercises for the Anxious Artist. Oh and figuring
out other stuff along the way about my anxiety. I will updating some of the stuff I had been working on so others can see :)
© 2014 - 2024 Audessy
Comments4
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I'm really glad you have enjoyed our convos and I hope anything said will be able to help you now and in the future. I can also definitely answer your question here posted on this journal.
Simple answer: Don't do it. It's a slippery slope. One day you will say "well, maybe I will do this one thing just one time because I need the money" and then before you know it you will have compromised almost every single moral and personal integrity you have. Another big downfall to doing this is suddenly you will start to attract that certain type of fan base that you DO NOT want and they will also want more of the morally compromising stuff. Before you know it your whole gallery will have been turned into fap fodder.
When I was still trying to save up for my Baja, I thought actually getting it was a complete pipe dream if I kept my status quo. I will admit the thought did cross my mind to draw things I wouldn't normally draw (but charge way more than my normal rates for it) but I never did because not only did I not want to go down that path, I wouldn't even know how to draw such things in the first place even if I wanted to. (porn, etc) To make a long story short I have never sacrificed my integrity in my art. Not just with porn related stuff but even with my art style itself. There are so many artists more popular than me (even if I am technically better than they are) because they happen to draw what's trendy and popular, even if it's not very high quality. I refused to stoop to that level and to sell out just to get more of a fan base. The plus side is what amount of fans I do have are very appreciative of the effort, detail, and skill that goes into my art that many other artists overlook for the sake of churning out as much crap as they can.
I know it's hard when you are financially struggling, but in the long run it's really not worth sacrificing your integrity for that dollar bill because what's the point of living if you cannot live with yourself?
Simple answer: Don't do it. It's a slippery slope. One day you will say "well, maybe I will do this one thing just one time because I need the money" and then before you know it you will have compromised almost every single moral and personal integrity you have. Another big downfall to doing this is suddenly you will start to attract that certain type of fan base that you DO NOT want and they will also want more of the morally compromising stuff. Before you know it your whole gallery will have been turned into fap fodder.
When I was still trying to save up for my Baja, I thought actually getting it was a complete pipe dream if I kept my status quo. I will admit the thought did cross my mind to draw things I wouldn't normally draw (but charge way more than my normal rates for it) but I never did because not only did I not want to go down that path, I wouldn't even know how to draw such things in the first place even if I wanted to. (porn, etc) To make a long story short I have never sacrificed my integrity in my art. Not just with porn related stuff but even with my art style itself. There are so many artists more popular than me (even if I am technically better than they are) because they happen to draw what's trendy and popular, even if it's not very high quality. I refused to stoop to that level and to sell out just to get more of a fan base. The plus side is what amount of fans I do have are very appreciative of the effort, detail, and skill that goes into my art that many other artists overlook for the sake of churning out as much crap as they can.
I know it's hard when you are financially struggling, but in the long run it's really not worth sacrificing your integrity for that dollar bill because what's the point of living if you cannot live with yourself?