Audessy

Here's a little love to everyone celebrating tonight 😄

Okay for the last couple of months I've been suffering serious health problems. For almost 15 years I've had problems with my neck. It was speculated to be a seizure type disorder because my neck causes me such intense pain I'd collapse in a seizure-like manner. After a few years of suffering from the same problem and failing multiple epilepsy tests, I deduced it was a muscle or spine problem. Finally, after a fuck ton of asshole doctors and people who didn't want to believe me, a couple of months ago this year I found out I was fucking right! I have 2 compressed vertebrae in my cervical part of my spine that has been strangling my nerves causing me the pain I've been suffering. That's part is good! The downside was I also found I had a painful muscle bulge in the same area my neck rendering my drawing arm useless from time to time.

Yeah.  It's literally been a time where if something could go wrong for me it did.

Between the pain, multiple doctors visits, setting up appointments for treats months apart, suffering a tooth abscess that also may be causing wank as fuck vision, has made keeping up every day on the drawing challenge not go so well.

But I'm not the type of person to give up on a challenge, I'm kind of dumb that way... and a little stubborn.
Even though I will have days I literally cannot move my drawing arm and won't be able to fill a picture a day quota. I'm going to modify the challenge to fill up the sketchbooks I got instead. That way I can still utilize the books I got just for the years challenge and just keep improving drawing overall.

So why have I been so quiet about all of this until now? 2 reasons; 1 because I didn't think it would matter to let people on here know how I was doing and why I haven't uploaded anything. And 2, because my anxiety becomes paralyzing when I experience shame. I felt very ashamed for my health spiraling so far out of my control and already interfering with all the things I wanted to do this year and there was a ton of things I wanted to do!

It hurt that I couldn't deliver a fraction of the pictures I was supposed to be submitting and sharing with everyone on DA and Facebook. As the days went by and the more I fell behind I felt too much shame and I'm sorry for that.

I've had a hard time learning that I need to take a step back and just let things play out as much as possible. It's been frustrating as fuck to sit by and wait for things to happen, appointments to come, and somehow in the emotional chaos continue to make time for art.

I'm sorry for being so tight lipped/non-existent on here. It's become a little foreign to connect with people online for me and sometimes my anxiety catches up with me. It's because of these reasons I'm continuing this challenge. I hope everyone is well, taking care of themselves and I hope you guys enjoy what I post in the future

Happy New Year people! 2016 sucked and I'm a little iffy about things coming in the new year but I'm still going to live life to the best I can. And one the things I really want to do is start off by doing multiple drawing challenges.

Originally this was inspired by DA's own Piccolo-kun (If you haven't looked up his gallery, you're missing out!) In 2015 he did a challenge in which he drew everyday for a year. The dedication behind it blew my mind and his artwork was a joy to look at on the Hot Page everyday. I knew I wanted to try and do the challenge but I was still finding my courage... and discipline to make the decision to draw everyday. Well I finally found the courage and I've been doing it since the beginning of the new year. Holy shit so far it's been interesting!

The point of the Challenge is just literally to draw. every. single. day! There is no theme, no rhyme, or reason. Whatever is in my head that day or something I like, I draw it down, ink it, and sign. While this feels liberating it's also nerve-wrecking coming up with something I want to draw and allowing for mess ups in the process. But that's the point of a challenge right? I bring this up because so far my drawings are proving extremely polarizing. If anything I hope I don't freak people out with every thing I upload.
Speaking of uploading.

Part of the challenge also includes updating on DA and FB that because depending on how soon I finish a picture. I'm not sure how many people actually watch my place since I update very periodically, but I wanted to put this up as a warning. I will be doing my best to upload here almost everyday. I say almost because I've already proven to myself my drawings get close to the next day deadline. I want to upload during the daytime so some drawings will be uploaded together. This also means for those who still watch me, I apologize about flooding your deviation boxes almost everyday for the next year. Oh yeah and that's on top of whatever artwork I upload!

Anyways Cheers to Everyone for the New Year
-Audessy