If I'm not an artist than what the hell am I? I have been struggling with this for so long.
I love art, all of it. My interests are not restricted because I'm fascinated by medium, craft, and skill. I love art. I love it to the point I find myself having to do something myself but when my pen hits the paper I am over-ridden with such anxiety and doubt. I have had so many supportive friends, a fiance, family, and I can even see what I'm good at, so why then? Why do I personally feel like my work is never good enough, not worth it, could be better, etc. Honestly I have read enough blogs, magazines, books, and even talked to professionals to figure out how to proceed in my own work. I literally feel a lump in my throat every time I want to make something artistic, fun, exciting, mine, and I just can't. I know I'm not the only person who feels this way and I understand that. I know even the best artist can feel like the art they make isn't worth it despite the contrary belief. Bottom line is I don't want to feel this way about my art. It's mine and will always be mine for better or worse.
I just want to take my anxiety, beat the hell out of it, and tell it to leave me the fuck alone!