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About Deviant Official Beta Tester AudessyFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
3 Week Core Membership
Statistics 142 Deviations 8,285 Comments 23,690 Pageviews



pictures I wish to see on my wall someday


  • Mood: Wow!
  • Listening to: Enya (what else?!)
  • Watching: Coraline
  • Playing: Dead Space (lately)
  • Drinking: Hot Chocolate

The Anxious Artist No.1


    Is it fair to call to myself an artist when I have very little artwork to show for it?


    This is a good question and something I struggle to answer all the time. I mean what’ the point in calling myself an artist when I have so little work to show for it? When there is a world of fantastic, talented artist producing art everyday of every week of every year. From the most renowned to the earliest beginners, it is creative people like them putting their heart and souls into their work, posting them online for the world to see, fighting against their own fears and anxieties, and overcoming them with every piece submitted to the world wide web or local gallery. What makes their work more accepted and their abilities so great? Well they don’t have my anxiety.

    Now I am in no way shape or form saying even the best artist doesn’t suffer anxiety or fear when producing their own work. As a matter of fact, I’ve read countless journal entries, tell all’s, articles, and books of almost all artists suffering from the same thing as me.

    We all have that little voice in our head we fight constantly, saying things like ‘you can’t. It won’t work. No one cares, etc.’ It’s a tiny yet deafening, paralyzing voice and many artist do fight the good fight and over come that terrible doubting voice. But their voice is not mine, and my anxiety is my own problem.

    For a long time I’ve thought that my voice was not important, my problem not uncommon. I selfishly dreamt one day I would break from my anxiety about creating my own artwork, make it big, and look back on that life changing moment as that hurdle I made over. And boy does that sound nice but after so long of living a disappointing delusion. I’ve decided it was best to figure out the what, how, and why my anxiety causes my own work to suffer to the point of producing nothing at all.

    I am not looking to carve a name for myself about how original my problems are and writing about it on the web. Although a part of me would love to think that someone, anyone, would read my post and see how similar a situation they face and try to figure out how to accept their own artist anxieties. That this personal telling of my tale reaches their hearts and helps change their views on their own problem. That would be nice for that person but it’s not why I’m writing.

    I’m not writing these entries to be their voice. I am writing to give a voice to my own desires about making my own art and finally learning to accept the anxiety that comes with it.

    I have decided to start here on Deviantart to discuss this particular problem. Funnily enough, one of my biggest anxieties is while I want to show people my work and who I am. I also hate showing my work to anyone. I’m starting here because it’s a first step to take. If I had a web cam I would have tried posting on Youtube, but DA has always been my home, my greatest inspiration, source of comfort, and also a key anxieties.

    My grammar sucks and I am a notorious comma whore, but I hope that writing out my feelings about my own art will be the starting point I have truly needed to begin healing and working again.


Audessy's Profile Picture
United States
Current Residence: Consumption Town
Favourite genre of music: New Age
Favourite photographer: My Mom
Favourite style of art: Everything
MP3 player of choice: My Black Stone
Skin of choice: My Own
Favourite cartoon character: Calvin & Hobbes, Jubei K., Ran K.
Personal Quote: "Only the truest of dreamers can succeed the Odyssey"



Add a Comment:
shiyiyu Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2015  Student General Artist
hi~~ my print is now available~~ and again im soo glad u liked it~~hug…
Audessy Featured By Owner Edited Apr 6, 2015
Holy crap I love that clip! It's actually from one of my top fav Supernatural episodes :) Awesome for making it a print. Top of my wishlist and print to buy :hug: thank you
carol-colors Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2014
:thanks: Thank you for the :+fav: (coloring)
marakov Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave xD
Audessy Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
Of course. I looked at your picture and I was immediately entranced by the colors and the atmosphere you created. It put off a mystical and magical feel to it, the light off the jellyfish enhanced it for me as well as the girl's serene expression :) You do amazing work. Also, thank you for the :+fav: too :heart:
marakov Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
I'm so happy to read this, so happy to pass those feelings 
thank you very much xD
Audessy Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014
anytime :blowkiss:
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks a lot for adding my work to your collection.
Audessy Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014
Of course I would you're freaking awesome :D I love the atmosphere you create for each picture you make, it's great.
gensan613 Featured By Owner May 24, 2013
Thank you for the fav ^^
Ev-sta Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2012
Thanks a lot for faving my work! i appreciate it :)
rosedore Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2010
Hello my dear! How are you doing? Haven't heard from you for so long. I hope you're well. I miss you. :hug: :heart:
MistRaven Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
thanks so much for faving my work sweetie
:heart::icondance-4u::iconkissingplz::icondance-4u: :heart:
Kesline Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the watch!
Audessy Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2010
it's a real pleasure :heart:
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